Statement from the Candidate

In 2010 I ran an unsuccessful campaign for the United States Congress, but I'm still posting blogs that I believe express an opinion that most other people miss, and that I also believe can make America great again and cast off the yoke of liberal/progressive control that is currently in place.

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Have Mask, Will (Not) Travel

Our masked hero, Joey Biden, is actually mis-masked to be considered to be the romantic figure personifying the heroic, masked figure of the Lone Ranger; but nevertheless, masked he is. And his only travel is shuffling between the ping-pong room to the card table room in his basement.

He tries to be more like the Paladin character that Richard Boone played during my childhood, a program better known as “Have Gun, Will Travel“. But our beloved Joey only uses shotguns to frighten invaders, so his “Have Mask, Will Travel” logo will be a bit emasculated as a result. But that’s our Joey to the core: talking like a fast-acting, straight-shooting, take-no-guff, gun slinging, fearless, leader, while hiding in his basement and wearing his mask as the signature reminder to Americans of his being out of his mind and out of his depth, in a campaign against Donald Trump for the presidency.

Mr. Biden’s hiding away in his lavish basement is good for the nation, because if he could get out for a while he might say something to make himself appear presidential, so I’d rather he remain inside and masked, and retain the slogan of “Have Mask, Will Hide In My Basement“.